Mrs. Claus To Undergo Mammogram At Boca Regional

BOCA RATON, FL ( — We apologize for the disturbing mental image of a geriatric patient with frontal nudity, but we appreciate the brilliance of the press release — and the important medical procedure it represents — issued today by Boca Raton Regional Hospital.

Here’s the release:

Amid final preparations for another busy holiday season, Mrs. Claus has scheduled her mammogram in the SensorySuite at Boca Raton Regional Hospital. The Christine E. Lynn Women’s Health & Wellness Institute at Boca Regional is the first in Florida to offer the SensorySuite by GE Healthcare, an interactive mammography experience designed to stimulate the senses of sight, smell and hearing with three unique environmental ambiances.

Ever the snowbird, Mrs. Claus says she plans to select the ‘beach” sensory experience, though she could also choose to have her screening in a virtual garden or by a waterfall. And with same-day results, Mrs. Claus can head right back up to the North Pole before her husband awakes from his afternoon power nap.

A promise from your friends at

We promise not to run bare chested shots of Mrs. Claus should they be provided tomorrow.

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